A time to ask 'Who am I?'

Shortly before he goes to appear before the Roman governor Pontius Pilate and the Jewish authorities as a prelude to his crucifixion, Jesus Christ asks his disciples: “Who am I?” or more correctly “Who do you say that I am?”

It is a question which is at the heart of the Christian gospel and, therefore, a question which Jesus continually asks of us, his modern-day disciples. We would proclaim, mimicking the words of Jesus’s disciple Simon Peter 2000 years ago: “You are the Christ, the son of the living God.”

We believe that Jesus, by his life and teaching but especially by his death and resurrection, saves us from a life void of God here on earth and into eternity.

Jesus, of course, never presented himself to the Jewish religious council as the Messiah, although his response to their questioning “you say that I am” the Messiah, must go alongside his other Messianic claims.

He was never tentative in his understanding of his identity. He was absolutely assured of his relationship to God and clear on the vision that his life on earth would follow, as painful as that would be.

We don’t often have that sense of self, that clarity of vision. Significantly, we can easily lose our connectedness to God, as our identities become entangled in the best and the worst attributes of being humans on this earth.

As part of a Lenten course at St Alban’s Anglican Church in East London, we have been exploring notions of identity as individuals and as a community.

The question “Who am I?” is asked in other very specific contexts in scripture.

The book of Exodus tells us of an encounter between God and Moses, when Moses hears God telling him to go to the king of Egypt and to lead the Israelites out of bondage in a foreign land. Some translations of the bible record Moses asking God the question in Chapter 3 and verse 11: “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” God answers: “I will be with you.”

Later on in the first book of Samuel, the young shepherd boy David confronts the same issue when he is sent by his father to bring provisions to his brothers who are with King Saul and the Isrealite army fighting the Philistines. While he is on his way to his brothers, he is confronted by the huge Philistine Goliath, who has brought fear into the hearts of the Israelite soldiers. David, strong in the knowledge that he is fighting in the name of the Lord, shoots a stone at Goliath’s forehead and the man drops down dead. When Saul subsequently offers David the hand of his daughter, David says: “Who am I, and what is my family or my clan in Israel, that I should become the king’s son-in-law?”

Later again, having installed David as king of Israel, God sets out his vision for the king. David repeats his previous query but this time to God: “Who am I, sovereign Lord and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?” It is a question that he will repeat again to God: “Who am I?”

David’s experience also brings into sharp relief the fact that the question “Who am I?” is almost always followed by “Whom do I want to become?” There is almost always an aspirational aspect to issues of identity.

If identity is about being connected to God, it is also about being part of community.

In his book, The Christian Response, the French Catholic Priest Michel Quoist writes about connecting with “The Other”. He says connecting may be about offering a helping hand, a smile, taking someone else by the arm. It may mean asking someone “And how is your baby? How did your plans turn out? And then … what happened after that?”

But in order to really establish contact with another, he notes that first we have to make our way through life a bit more slowly, be genuinely interested in the other’s work, family, recreation, home, likes, aspirations, difficulties and struggles.

The South African writer Olive Schreiner once said that we should emblazon on our flag the words “Freedom, justice, love; great are the two first, but without the last, they are not complete”.

Sometimes, in an attempt to avoid any suggestion that we are racist, we try to ignore the differences between us but, as Canadian Anglican priest Heather McCance has said, “our differences are important. Our differences matter because they are a part of who each one of us is. We are all different, and God created us in such wonderful diversity”.

But she emphasises that what holds us together, is that we are God’s children.

As Christians, we believe that are drawn closer to God through our faith in Jesus Christ and to each other as a consequence.

We seek to live in peace with each other and in harmony with the world. And we desire to live holy and whole lives.

The message that comes through forcefully at Easter is the horrible, agonising death that Jesus experienced. Many Christians suffer for their faith. Most of us suffer despite our faith.

And it will continue to be an integral part of our identity in Christ, following each painful station as Christ carried the cross to Golgotha where he was crucified.

It will mean serving God, loving all, standing firm in our faith, speaking the truth sincerely, doing good work, being kind, compassionate and forgiving, and boasting in nothing except that we, together with the entire universe, are the recipients of Christ’s redeeming and prodigal love.

In Christ, suffering and death co-exist with resurrection and life.

Who am I? Who are we?

We are the sons and daughters and followers of God. – RAY HARTLE