I’m starting a branch of the Flat Head Society. My group is really registered as the Platkoppe, but we realise that in order to be relevant and accessible to the world we must Anglicise our name. It’s the clearest expression of our ability to move with the times.
Actually, the name will be registered as soon as the documents are hand-delivered to the authorities in Pretoria for approval of our name and charter. As a matter of principle, we refused to use electronic means to get the documents there. They said I could e-mail it, but I think that’s just a scam to get me in front of that computer with something called a modem and infra red and hot spot connectivity. Someone can be sitting on the other edge of the world and infiltrating your mind while you think you’re just typing.
In fact, I was reading somewhere that’s how the aliens in 1973 took control of that group of scientists in the Australian outback. Although sometimes I wonder if that also wasn’t a plot, hey, hatched while we were worried about the Enlightened Ones by some world power that we don’t even know about but who are controlling things behind the scenes so that we can believe their ridiculous ideas.
I challenge anyone to say that I’m a denialist. I’m not, hey. Denialists are just moegoes and cast a bad light on the rest of us who don’t accept everything we are fed by the world out there. We find our own way, rooted in the beliefs handed down by our forebears and our own experience of this world. That’s why we will continue to question in the way that we do.
Some dismissively point to a dodgy personality, others know our enquiring minds are rooted in a philosophy unswayed by centuries of wayward thinking under the guise of scientific and technological advances. Someone asked if we were connected to the Flat Earth crowd.
Actually, I wanted to call our organisation the Flat Earth Society but I found that name was already in use, has been for donkey years. But that crowd is quite far-out, with aspects of their philosophies and approaches to life totally off-putting to many. But we are ad idem on two things:
Firstly that the earth is flat indeed. They’ve known this truth forever and have held on to it in the face of disgusting challenges by Chris Columbus and others, who insisted after a journey of almost a million miles that nobody would fall off the earth when they got to the outer edges of Africa. Columbus indeed did discover a new world, but no proof has been provided that he sailed around the world in the process. Having just flown halfway to the western extremity of the earth at 30 000ft, I can attest to this simple fact – it’s flat all the way, there is absolutely no curvature.
The other point of agreement between the Flat Earthists and the Platkoppe is that we are constantly amazed at how easily people are duped by those espousing outrageous theories. Often with the flimsiest of so- called factual proof, and sometimes even clear evidence of lies and deceit, pronouncements are made about the meaning of human life, about inventions and other allegedly material improvements to our lifestyles, about two-bit laboratory tests that provide cures for our maladies.
These plots are given a veneer of respectability by putting the smoke, mirrors and magic wands in the hands of intellectual, spiritual and political luminaries. The masses are duped but the Flat Earthists and the Platkoppe know better. We know all about these and other diabolical scourges. Which is why some of us are of the view that the power outages might be good news: they could force a return to the basic home truths about life.
But we are concerned about the water restrictions. That could mean that we have to shower once a week; certainly the days of showering after every dalliance, perhaps even a handful of times a day, might be at an end.
